remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
