He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
