Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
do herpes really smell.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
