There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
