I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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