brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
