they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he was CRYING into my vagina
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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