it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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