I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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