y did u give ur computer a hand job?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
