So drunk its hurt
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He better not be in your backpack
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
