Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
