you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
