called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
