How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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