I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
50% drunk capacity currently
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
