If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
