apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
