i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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