Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
