I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dicks are not precious.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
