Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize