Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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