i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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