every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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