He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
