he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
