I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
