the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
