some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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