If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
When are your genitals available?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
