Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
