You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
