But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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