What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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