the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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