wanna go halves on a baby?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
