Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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