I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
