i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
