But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
