I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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