Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
