so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize