The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
