im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
