So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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