would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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