well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
