At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
