It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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