wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
