grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
