I cockslap morals
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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