Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
