i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
