I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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