I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
im holly from the hills drunk
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
did i walk over a car last night?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
