problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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