He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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