Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
